- Are you feeling resentful, hurt or misunderstood in your relationship?
- Do you keep arguing over the same issues and are unable to resolve your conflicts?
- Do you differ in your views on how to parent, manage money or deal with family?
- Has your romance or sex life diminished or become nonexistent?
Couples counseling often triggers feelings of vulnerability and fear in either one or both partners about what might be uncovered. Mustering the courage to look at your relationship is the first step in regaining trust and intimacy and acquiring the skills to sustain a rich, mutually satisfying life together. Most couples tell me after we’ve begun working together that they feel relieved to have found a safe and supportive place to bring up difficult topics and talk about their differences.
Couples are driven into therapy for a wide range of issues. Sometimes couples call in great despair, as a last ditch-effort to save a marriage from years of mounting resentments, the damage wrought by an addiction or the anguish caused by a betrayal. Some couples call because they need help to manage a parenting conflict or specific crisis or issue that is straining an otherwise stable relationship. Others come in for premarital counseling or a relationship “tune up” to improve their communication skills, enhance their intimacy and revitalize their sex life.
How couples counseling works
My goal in couples therapy is to provide a comfortable, collaborative and nonjudgmental space where you can speak openly and honestly about whatever is troubling you and both come away feeling better understood and validated. I take an active, encouraging and direct approach so that, working together, we can identify and clarify the underlying issues and feelings that are generating resentments, disappointment and conflicts. If interactions get too heated, I am quick to intervene to prevent negative spirals from spinning out of control, and to help you find new, more constructive ways to communicate.
In working together, I will help you learn to:
- Share your concerns and frustrations directly and tactfully, without blame or attacks on each other’s character
- Put yourself in your partner’s shoes so you can respond to each other’s feelings without getting defensive
- Reestablish a sense of connectedness after a rupture by taking responsibility for your part
- Make time for positive interactions — by expressing appreciation, doing fun things together and sharing affection and intimacy — so you can enjoy each other more and weather the inevitable conflicts and upsets
- Support each other’s interests and aspirations and reaffirm common goals to help you feel closer and more fulfilled